i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
