just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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