I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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