How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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