Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
These tits shall not be calmed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
