Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
