how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i love accidental penises.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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