But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
