Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's shark week go big or go home
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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