Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
