Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
