Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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