I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
