The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
