Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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