I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
