Pappa wants mamma naked
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's official drugs can't kill me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
