no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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