don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it hurts more in the daytime
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
