I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
