I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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