ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
