you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
