just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
