Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
