It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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