There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
