OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
