wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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