no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
