sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
two words: eviction party
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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