I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
