That's when you crack a 10am beer
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
