so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
