Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
