we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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