You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
