I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
