i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
