lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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