so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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