I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
