i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
