Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
