so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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