none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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