Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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