adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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