i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
