I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
