Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
