So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
