It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
