The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
