I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
